Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize