Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
