so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
