i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
