porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
