honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
