White coat. Heels.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
our cab driver is having phone sex.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
and you fell through a lawn chair
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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