Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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