thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
