sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
