And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
