I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
