I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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