I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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