She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Randomize
