You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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