Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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