im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
