Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
