you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize