i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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