One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
