I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize