just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
