He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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