this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just want nice things and good sex
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
