i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize