we're blogging at a bar
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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