i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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