Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
