You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
