you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
