Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize