$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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