K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize