Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Randomize
