Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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