On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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