my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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