.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
