I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize