just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
