he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
