the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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