You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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