Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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