How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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