I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize