too bad you live with your parents still
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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