Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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