I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You took a bar mat shot.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
