We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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