I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
