Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
