If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
