Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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