It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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