i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
