I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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