And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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