I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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