I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
