My balls are so social today.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
