I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
