So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
