The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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