who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
