I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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