You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
