I am in a vortex of obligation.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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