God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
