do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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